captpackrat | Hardly ever

I'm the greatest Captain of the Queen's Navy
(And your record will stand as proof.)
Be it galleon or freighter,
I'm an expert navigator.
(And you're also a world class poof.)
My manner quite effete
Is mistaken on the street
For a sailor who can pirouette on cue.
Well despite your point of view,
I can thrill a girl or two...
But I'd rather get it on with you!
(Ha Ha Ha!)